WASHOUTS: The Kind Of Girls Men Won't Date

Thanks stevechasmar's flickr.
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DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH a man expects you to keep your dignity all night.

&

DON'T BE CONSPICUOUS talking to another man.

The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again.





Obviously.
Every time I go out for a drink, keeping my dignity is #1 priority.

Sex with my best friend

It's a not so secret SECRET

I can't remember the last time we didn't have something to feel guilty about

We randomly sleep together and we enjoy it.
What do we have to lose?
His girlfriend already hates me

Nobody blames her
It makes me smile :D

My First Threesome

A few extra hours past fashionably late

The three of us find some time alone

The only light was from the stars and fire flies.

He found our hiding place

We felt like we were so far away

He pressed up against us

We felt like there was no turning back

"You sit on my face, You sit on my cock"

"Switch"

We obeyed

Soon there was pounding on the door

We emerged and sat on a ledge

All three of us in a line

Smoking our last cigarette

That is all I remember of
  My First Threesome.

Good morning

Its 7:30 a.m.
I wake up to his body perfectly with mine.
I shiver as his hand grazes my neck.
Slowly slides down my back.
Pressing the small of my back he brings me closer.
He's so fucking hot.
I run my hands over him, tip toeing around, putting him in my control.
I want to devour him.
I have him trembling.
Oh fuck this is bad.
I trace his body. Slowly. Gently.
He's huge.
He tries to kiss me.
I pull away, allowing our lips to graze and the tension to rise.
This is going to be fun.
I slide on top. His face eager, I run my hands slowly through his hair.
With a slight tug, I pull his head back.
He lets out a whimper.

I giggle.

I start to tease him lightly with my tongue.
I love watching him squirm.
His tanned toned and perfect body is under my control.
He's on the edge.
He can't handle it as he
helplessly watches me tease him.
Until finally,
I take him slowly,
carefully,
completely

in my mouth

My [2nd] One Night Stand.

I had gone through a drought. 

I seriously think my V was in pain from a lack of action.  

Finally, I find the perfect prey for a 1nighter. 

Pale, dirty, skinny, tattoos, and of course at least two notches more attractive than myself.

It started off great, releasing all my built up tension with one thrust and just like that it was over. 

You've got to be kidding me.  Try for round two? Nope. Can't get it up. Serious?!

FUCK. 

I wasted a number on that?

UGH

He doesn't say a word. Rolls over to cuddle and passes out.

Are you kidding me? I try to grab my phone without waking him to send an emergency exit text to the roommate.  Not successful.

Okay. Slowly. Be quiet. Get out of the bed. 

FUCK my clothes are scattered everywhere. 

Get dressed. Flash wakes up and I freeze.

"what are you doing?"

"Uh... going for a cigarette."

He passes out, I grab the roommate, and like it never happened I was at home.

BUT! This is what I don't get.  He gets pissed that I left. Apparently NO ONE uses Flash for sex. 

Guess what, that just happened buddy. Get over it. I don't care.

There is a difference.

FUCKING:

Rip my clothes off

Make me shiver.

Tease the shit out of me.

Pull my hair.

Scratch. Bite.

Talk dirty.

Be aggressive.

SEX:

You won't need tips.

It's just sex.

Making Love:

Start slow. Hold my face in your hands. Slowly and softly trace my body. Whisper. Look into my eyes. Know this will never happen unless you are my lover.

dont give a fuck

.welcome.to.my.

dirty seductive filthy
desirable rough alluring risqué
 naughty sensual vulgar
temptingly lewd provocative
 salacious sultry improperly luscious
&
tantalizingly offensive 

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